Thursday, May 31, 2012

June 2nd Weekend Events



Saturday

Pet Valu Grand Opening

   Normally, a store’s opening event wouldn’t make it to the blog but this one involves kitties, damn it. 
About once every two months, I’m overcome with the urge to adopt a cat and then spend far too much time loitering in front of the adoptable’s cages, dangling a life that will never be in front of them.
   This is what I was doing when the very polite cashier suggested that I come on by this Saturday for the Ottawa Humane Society’s on-site Cat Adoption. There’s going to be refreshments, a raffle, and 25% off on beds, bowls, toys, and other cat-cessories to make it just a little bit harder to justify not getting a cat.
   Also, there are going to be greyhounds from Greyhound Supporters of the NCR there! Have you seen a greyhound in the flesh? They have the legs of a striding deer. The space between the paw and the ankle of a greyhound’s back leg is as long as my forearm. I was petting one once and my hands couldn’t fully cover its snout. They’re amazing. Go gawk.
PetValu, 1460 Merivale Road. 9 a.m. to 6 p.m. 613-225-4440.
Dan's Birthday (or, $5.00 Extreme Caesars)

   It’s Dan Featherstone’s birthday party! We can’t be sure which one because he hasn’t listed his year of birth on his Facebook like some sort of predator.


 
   He is in the top seven of my most favourite people and top favourite patio-beer companion! Come down to James Street pub to say Happy Birthday
James Street
Pub, 390 Bank Street. Open until 2 a.m. 613-565-4700.

Legends in the Making

   Canadian Dave Merheje and Ugandan-Canadian Arthur Simeon are hitting the stage at Ottawa Little Theatre for a night of comedy. The description on the website says that the show “is probably going to make you laugh so much you’ll clap at least once.”  which is the least interesting and half-hearted description ever. On the side of water bottles it says “ingredients: water” and that gets me more revved up than that stupid synopsis. Yick.
   These two comedians are the storytelling kind which is objectively the best kind.
Part of the proceeds will go to the Canadian Friends of Pearl Children
Ottawa Little Theatre, 400 King Edward Avenue. $25.00. 8 p.m. 613-233-8948


Capital City Derby Dolls vs Kingston's Rogue Warriors

and just because I'm learning to love 'em so darn much, here's a repeat listing. Let's
see if we can make them famous.
Jack Charron Arena, 10 McKitrick Drive. $7.00 in advance, $10.0 at the door. 7 p.m.



DIY tutorial –Lace Pattern Paint

   The capital’s a little sleepy this weekend so, to keep you busy and feeling productive on this rainy weekend, here’s one way to freshen up a household item (I found this project here and there are so many other awesome ones).

   I chose our coffee table as a birthday gift probably two years ago. I picked out a black one because our television is black and I wanted a coordinated look.
   Decorating doesn’t come easily to me.


Having a black table has been hell so I decided to paint the whole thing white and make a lace-patterned design. Here’s how:

Things you’ll need:
·         Decoratable item (table, picture frame, bookshelf shelves, journal, etc)
·         Lace (enough to cover item completely)
·         Spray paint
·         Scissors
·         Tape
·         Beer

Measure out the lace and put it aside in a dust-free space


After painting the whole object in your base paint (two to three coats of spray) tape off the edges that you don’t want any secondary colour to touch. Tightly secure the lace to the object.


Spray your secondary colour as evenly or unevenly as you like over the lace, being careful not to angle the trajectory too low (or you’ll lose that lacey look)


After 20 minutes (just in case), peel off the tape and swiftly pull away the lace. Check out the sweet pattern.


Apply a finish and get back to using the object how you please.




Friday, May 25, 2012

May 19 Weekend Review

   In the spirit that inspires this blog I visited one of the events from this past weekend. I give Victoria Day Weekend Celebration ZERO out of eight elated children but nine out of eight disappointed and emotionally damaged children.

   This weekend was set to be the perfect weekend. The weather was beyond gorgeous, the city was a-buzzin’, and I finally convinced the boyfriend to tag along on one of the blog activities.

At laaaaast

    We decided to head down to the Victoria Day Weekend Celebration (VDWC) on the corner of Preston and Carling. There were throngs of people wandering around, couples lounging in the shade under trees, and kids running up and down the boardwalk on Dows Lake.

   The park we wound up in was in full Tulip Festival bloom. It was so beautiful. With no real schedule and the unfounded confidence that we would eventually find the entrance to the VDWC we leisurely took in the sights:

adorable lemonade stands…



the Man With Two Hats…

how many hats do you have?

    After our third tour around the park we were still not in any VDWC. No midway, petting zoo, or carnival games in sight. We became unnerved. Paranoid, even. We turned and turned, returning to locations we had checked before, followed an Indian family from a distance, and stood on the corner of Preston and Carling with our necks craned and our eyes strained. All the while, the wretched Tulip Festival was swallowing us whole and not being the VDWC.


   




   Lost and beaten, we gave up on ever finding the celebration. We found a neighbourhood patio instead and drowned our sorrows…

… until we went to go to Absolute Comedy (on Preston) to have some yuks!

   The only other time I’ve been to a comedy club I can’t recall because of the beer. I was excited that a heckler might be there. A sick little part of me was frothing to see an awkward public failing.

   There was no failing. The comics were ridiculously funny. I slapped my knee! I wish I could recall a single joke to steal for my own use.

   The opener was a gentleman named Guido Cocomello. If you ever get an opportunity to see him — GO*. I wish his set was longer and that he lived in my pocket.

"aaayyyy."

      The emcee (Harry Doupe…?) was adorable and the headliner, Ryan Belleville, was really great from what I was told, though I can’t be sure. They should water down the beer at comedy shows.

   Absolutely exhausted, we piled into a cab to finally head home. We sat reflecting on our day when the car took the first turn toward home...


...












*June 11th, keep an eye on the website for details

Thursday, May 17, 2012

May 19 & 20 Bonus Monday. LONG WEEKEND!




Saturday


Rock and Rhyme Event

   It’s a rock rollin’, slam poet event!  


   …slam poetry.
   It’s a full night of rock music and poetry fusion featuring such Canadian acts as  Alexy, SabrinaFallah, Prett Melberts, and more .
   The mic will be open during parts of the night for those that would like to present  their own spoken word or slam poetry.

The Elmdale House Tavern, 1084 Wellington Street West. $10.00. 7 pm. 613-728-2848.


The PunkOttawa.com Spring Flea Market

   Are you in the throes of your teenage rebellion? Have you managed to maintain your Ramone-esque image without blossoming into hipsterdom? Are you interested in local culture, supporting that culture, and procuring one-of-a-kind treasures while mingling in the comfort of a bunch weirdos?!
   Then come on out to the Punkottawa.com Spring Flea Market! Ottawa is not a town in want of craft, market, and spring shows but it’s nice to come across one that is so unique.
   There will be gently-used goods, original artwork, comics, jewelry, handmade crafts, and so much more. Check out some (or all, I guess) of the pictures from last year’s event.
   Part of the admission goes to local animal welfare charities, which is too sweet. They should be called punkottawa.compassion! (LOLLOL)

Mac Hall – Bronson Centre, 211 Bronson Avenue. Admission by donation. 11 am – 5 pm.



Sunday

Fairfields Victoria Day Jubilee Tea

   Not only to honour Victoria Day but to help open the 2012 programming season, the Nepean Museum is hosting a tea party! There will be tours, music, refreshments, and period games (like… time period) and activities for your whole family.
Nepean Museum, 3080 Richmond Road. Admission by donation. 1 pm – 4 pm. 613-723-7936.
www.nepeanmuseum.ca  



All Weekend

Victoria Day Weekend

   Yay! This event is extra great because you can incorporate one of the sights of the Tulip Festival as you enjoy some Midway rides, food, dessert, buskers, and a PETTING ZOO!
This is what Victoria Day is actually about.

   The event is set up at the corner of Carling and Preston where you can grab a beer at the Dows Lake Pavilion before you meander on over to Commissioners Park (most lush of the tulipped parks) to see the Man With Two Hats.
   Better rest up your neck on Monday morning ‘cause on Monday night you are staring up at the sky to behold the fireworks display (starts at 10 pm).
   Also! On their website there’s this little factoid: “In some parts of Canada, the holiday is colloquially known as May Two-Four. This phrase has two meanings: the holiday always falls near the day of May 24th, and a two-four is slang for a case of 24 bottles of beer.”
Hahaha! Canadians — the awesomer people.
Queen Juliana Park, 870 Carling Avenue. Free admission. Until Monday. 11 am - 10 pm



Sheep Shearing Festival
   A SHEAR delight!
   The demonstrations include a shepherd and his dog working together, the dog’s agility course, sheep shearing (of course), and felt making. Felt making!
   Nude sheep for pay.
Canada Agriculture Museum, 861 Prince of Wales Drive. $9.00. 9 am - 5 pm Demonstrations throughout the day.   613-991-3044.

Wednesday, May 16, 2012

May 12 & 13 Weekend



   I didn’t go to a structured event this weekend.
    It was Mother’s Day weekend. That special time of year when you reflect on all the spiteful and inexplicably mean shit you did to your mother as an emotionally stunted miniature psychopath with creepily high hormone levels and a G1 license.


   It’s also the weekend where you bust your ass trying to make up for all that nonsense with apologies cleverly disguised as thoughtful gifts.


   I live pretty far away from my mommy and feel a bit inadequate when this day rolls around. The past two years, I ordered flowers to be delivered from local shops in Orillia (because I was vying for Most Uninspired Gift, obviously) and the flower places ended up calling my mom to come pick up her own flowers, anyway. They suck at surprises.


   Earlier in April, I decided that this Mother’s Day was going to be awesome. Two days before the big day I still had no idea what to do and it was too late to order the dregs of flowers left behind by more organized people (plus I had already rage-burned all my Orillia-florist bridges). 

Armed only with a camera and desperation, I started recording the Mother’s Day That Could Have Been. Have a look-see:


   
You’ll notice the sewing bit goes on a little long. It took a pathetic two hours to produce two acceptable teabags — I couldn’t look at the footage objectively in editing and agonized over every frame no matter how insignificant. 

    What you don’t see is the clueless attempts at producing cinematic magic resulting in a miffed cashier, a near-miss car-to-bike accident, and the hair at my temples being ripped out (pause at 2:26 in the video for explanation).



Thursday, May 10, 2012

Derby Dolls May 5-6 Weekend UPDATED


Behold! Kristen’s guest blog. She didn’t want to showcase her super-talent for drawing so the pictures are true to Ottawa This Weekend style. They may, however, not reflect the actual events at the Capital City Derby Dolls’ Season Opener.
  
    I don’t know about you, but I know very little of the vicious, gladiatorial blood sport that is roller derby.  Except that there were roller skates, fishnets and violence involved.  And clever nicknames ironed on to Kelly green jerseys (such as Shutter Down, Violently Jill and of course, Delicate Plow’her).
Fishnets, right?! Probably.
  
   Well, several people know a heck of a lot about roller derby because Jack Cherron Arena in Kanata was packed on the evening of May 5th.  It was the season opener for the Capital City Derby Dolls (CCDD) team, the Dolly Rogers. 
   Not only did people come in droves and practically throw their $10 admittance at the Dollys working the door, but many of them were decked out in supportive green.  The stands were crammed and close to a hundred people stood on the rink floor in the “beer garden,” sipping cheap brews and shouting encouragements.
   
   The rules are more complicated than I fully understand but this is what I know: five reps from each team hit the track, four from each team are blockers and they cluster together with the other team, jostling and generally crowding each other as they make their way around the track.  I’m told that hitting someone below the knees or above the elbows is a penalty offence. 
Which is good news for this young lady.
 
   To open their season, the Dolly Rogers took on Quebec’s Les Duchesses.  I’d heard while milling around with the crowd how closely matched that these two teams were in skill (or at least stamina) but I had no idea how true that was. 
   There were tons of slips, trips, falls and pile-ups.  Though the girls were all wearing helmets, knee and elbow pads, you just have to wince.  The picture was all the clearer when I noticed an injured Dolly Roger cheering her teammates on from a wheelchair on the sidelines.
   Les Duchesses lost their lead lady about mid-way through but that didn’t stop them from earning points.  The final score was 108 to 109 for the Dolly Rogers!  The place was charged and the team hoisted their colours for their victory lap, the crowd pushing in to the line to slap high fives as both teams skated past. 
   My verdict?  Everyone needs to check out these high-speed hellions.  The mood was light, competitive and hey, some people even won money during the half-time draw.  I picked up some merchandise on my way out the door to support the team.  Their next home game is June 12th vs. Kingston’s Rogue Warriors.  I’ll be there in Dolly Roger green!
   Check out the  CCDD blog or like them on Facebook.
   A portion of the money raised at this event went to support the Ottawa Food Bank.

Catch up with Kristen over at LinkedIn  

UPDATE Les Duchesses actually won 111-109 after recounting. We'll get 'em next time!

Thursday, May 3, 2012

May 5 & 6 Weekend UPDATED



   It’s a slow one for the Capital this weekend. The weather is supposed to be beautiful so you should hit the dog parks, any of the trails, or stroll the canal. However, if you crave a little structure to your weekend shenanigans, see below for the weekend line-up.

Friday

The Canadian Tulip Festival

   It’s the 60th Annual Canadian Tulip Festival — Commemorative Edition!
The significant other in my life told me that, long ago, there was a Dutch princess who came to visit Canada even though she was in the family way. While being undoubtedly impressed by our awesome snow forts and wicked-ass wild animals her dutch oven started a-rumblin’ and she had to be rushed to the birthing arena.
   Everyone knows that any Dutch prince worthy of his wooden shoes shouldn’t be born on Canuck land so Canada graciously declared the area around the birth Netherland land.
   As a token of thanks, the Dutch people gave the Capital a million tulips and we cherish them to this day.


 There is not a single stitch of evidence on the official website to back this story up.    

Keep smiling, jerk. I’ve earnestly repeated your fib dozens of times like an ass.
    The tulips are a symbol of friendship between our two nations but they’re for our role in liberating the Dutch in World War II.
   There are tons of events, local artists, and performances to support during the celebration. It’s a beautiful time to explore the city.
Everywhere! Especially the Market, Chinatown, and Little Italy. www.tulipfestival.ca 

UPDATE An indignant text from the humourless boyfriend leads to this. You win this round. Again. Sort of.

Saturday

Urban Craft – Ottawa’s Monthly Market

    I feel differently about this craft sale. Honestly. This one looks like there are authentic craftsmen with original wares. Get excited!
   Urban Craft is the first and only monthly (MONTHLY) craft market. Starting this Saturday, the first Saturday of each month will host this show.
It’s in Hintonburg — the hippest neighborhood in Ottawa. This is not disputable.
Look at all that’s available! :
  • Gourmet, local, vegan & artisanal food
  • Modern accessories
  • Handmade goodies for kids
  • Natural bath & body products
  • Modern & recycled jewelry
  • Modern decor for your home

   This is going to be so awesome.
The GCTC, 1223 Wellington Street West. Free admission. Saturdays 10 a.m. to 2 p.m.
http://www.urbancraftmarket.com


Season Opener - Ottawa's Capital City Derby Dolls

   The Dolly Rogers will be facing off against Quebec’s Les Duchesses in the opening match for Capital City Derby Dolls in their second season. This will be the teams’ first match against each other. 
   I came down with a case of the vapours (rum coma) while watching Whip It so I’m not certain  what this roller derbying is all about. Knee pads, helmets, badass ladies all seem to be key ingredients. Hopefully gratuitous cursing, as well.
   Beau’s beer is sponsoring!
   Duty calls at the homestead so this event will be reviewed by creative spirit and fellow writer, Kristen Nelson.

 
   I’m very excited for Ottawa This Weekend’s first guest blog!


Jack Charron Arena (Kanata…ew), 10 McKitrick Drive. $7.00 in advance, $10.0 at the door. 7 p.m.